"Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster."
"2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."
"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
"Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes."
"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."
"If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway."
"Best file compression around: \"DEL *.*\" = 100% compression"
"The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in."
"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."
"BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding"
"BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!"
"It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."
"Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..."
"Every solution breeds new problems."
"As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing."
"Two wrongs are only the beginning."
"Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS..."
"All computers wait at the same speed."
"DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors."
"Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view."
"I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, and even I'm not sure what's going on outside."
"This. Sentence. Is. FALSE"
"So. How are you holding up, BECAUSE I'M A POTATO."
"Testing is the future, and the future starts with you."
"Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature."